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A Little Chaos (15)
 
  



Directed by Alan Rickman.

Starring Kate Winslet, Mattias Schoenaerts, Alan Rickman, Helen McCrory, Jennifer Ehle and Stanley Tucci. 117 mins

A Little Chaos? Not even a smidgen, every thing in this garden, this English garden, is in its right and proper pace. Well, when Kate Winslet is your agent of chaos, anarchy is not the likely outcome. As you would expect of Un Film De Alan Rickman, A Little Chaos is tres English; because what could be more English than a film about a 17th Century romance between two gardeners (Winslet and Schoenaerts) who are constructing the garden at Versailles against the backdrop of the court of King Louis XIV? The film's main, possibly only, pleasure is imagining exactly how infuriated the French will be at having their history travestied by a bunch of Brit thespians. The epitome of this would be director Rickman, who is nominally performing the role of King Louis XIV, addressing everybody in that distinctive Frankie Howerd style music hall hauteur he has perfected: everything he says sounds like “Ooh missus,” but delivered from a very great height. Somehow, it doesn't quite suggest the Sun King. Everybody uses their most English voice possible, even token Flem Schoenaerts. The equivalent would be for Gerard Depardieu to barrel up in boots and braces and announce, “Je suis Selwyn Froggit.”

The film doesn't sound French and it doesn't look French either. This is the opulent decadence of Versailles imagined as a series of National Trust day trips. The weather, at least, stayed nice for a couple of scenes. The actors loll about in their fine coats and elaborate wigs but it is clear that nobody making this film had two pennies to rub together. There is one scene where Winslet is supposed to be riding in a horse drawn carriage but is clearly just sitting in a darkened set being rocked back and forth. And it is dull; as dull as a film about gardening ought to be. Dull and redundant. There were no lady gardeners at Versailles, so somebody has decided to remake history (never admirable but sometimes a forgivable expediency) and to remake in a way that is thoroughly uninteresting, and for no perceivable point. All the way through you keep looking for some motivation, some reason for them to be taking up two hours of our times.

The French title for Peter Greenaway's A Draughtsman's Contract is Death in a French Garden. This is deathly dull in a French garden.



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