Batman and Robin (PG.)
Directed by Joel Schumacher.
Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Uma Thurman, Chris O'Donnell, Alicia Silverstone and Michael Gough. 125 mins.
I wouldn't say Batman and Robin was the worst film I've paid to see in the cinema (there was a Stallone cop film from the 80 called Cobra that was more horrific) but it is surely, by far, the worst film I've seen repeatedly. However many times you see it, you can never quite believe how bad it is; probably because it is always in touching distance of quality.
There's an image that stuck with me from the film, of a giant statue of a human figure that stands among Gotham skyscraping skyline (almost every building seems to be of Burj Khalifa dimension) and has a road going through it. For a moment or two when you first see it, the effect is startling. But then they start riding toy Batmobiles and bikes over it, and you realise just how much talent, how much sincere effort and well intention hard work have been buried within this garish, incoherent, indulgent and thoroughly hateful mess.
The sets, the story, the jokes, the characterisations, the performances are all way worse than Forever. Nothing ties together, nothing connects, nothing has any point. Clooney, who should have been perfect for the role, is terrible because he doesn't really know what he is supposed to be doing with it. He at least has the savvy to try and keep his head down. Everybody else though buys into these roles that barely count as caricatures and give career-worst performances.
The blame for this is usually ascribed to the demands of the toy companies having far too much sway over the production. Maybe, but I think it more down to arrogance and a sense of entitlement. We are rich, we are successful, therefore we must know what we are doing. This is exemplified by Arnold. By this stage, he'd been acting in films for over twenty years and a star for a decade. You'd have thought that maybe he'd have learnt a little about acting in that time but his performance as Mr Freeze is unhindered by any skill. His mouth is a slaughterhouse, ruthlessly crushing the life out of any quip he is asked to deliver.
Schwarzenegger's brazen ineptness is just indicative of the whole enterprise which is the lazy offerings of a complacent, contemptuous elite who expect the masses to be thrilled and grateful for being able to gawp at their jolly japes. Batman and Robin's the movie equivalent of the Royal version of It's A Knockout.
Directed by Joel Schumacher.
Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, George Clooney, Uma Thurman, Chris O'Donnell, Alicia Silverstone and Michael Gough. 125 mins.
I wouldn't say Batman and Robin was the worst film I've paid to see in the cinema (there was a Stallone cop film from the 80 called Cobra that was more horrific) but it is surely, by far, the worst film I've seen repeatedly. However many times you see it, you can never quite believe how bad it is; probably because it is always in touching distance of quality.
There's an image that stuck with me from the film, of a giant statue of a human figure that stands among Gotham skyscraping skyline (almost every building seems to be of Burj Khalifa dimension) and has a road going through it. For a moment or two when you first see it, the effect is startling. But then they start riding toy Batmobiles and bikes over it, and you realise just how much talent, how much sincere effort and well intention hard work have been buried within this garish, incoherent, indulgent and thoroughly hateful mess.
The sets, the story, the jokes, the characterisations, the performances are all way worse than Forever. Nothing ties together, nothing connects, nothing has any point. Clooney, who should have been perfect for the role, is terrible because he doesn't really know what he is supposed to be doing with it. He at least has the savvy to try and keep his head down. Everybody else though buys into these roles that barely count as caricatures and give career-worst performances.
The blame for this is usually ascribed to the demands of the toy companies having far too much sway over the production. Maybe, but I think it more down to arrogance and a sense of entitlement. We are rich, we are successful, therefore we must know what we are doing. This is exemplified by Arnold. By this stage, he'd been acting in films for over twenty years and a star for a decade. You'd have thought that maybe he'd have learnt a little about acting in that time but his performance as Mr Freeze is unhindered by any skill. His mouth is a slaughterhouse, ruthlessly crushing the life out of any quip he is asked to deliver.
Schwarzenegger's brazen ineptness is just indicative of the whole enterprise which is the lazy offerings of a complacent, contemptuous elite who expect the masses to be thrilled and grateful for being able to gawp at their jolly japes. Batman and Robin's the movie equivalent of the Royal version of It's A Knockout.
