In The Hands of God. (15.)
Directed by Gabe Turner and Benjamin Turner.
Starring Paul Wood, Mickey Fisher, Sami Hall Bassam, Jeremy Lynch, Danny Robinson. 106 mins.
They go, see Diego; an account of the quest of five English football freestylers to busk across America to meet their hero Maradona. And on the basis that there is one born every minute, if you still believe that Big Brother is a serious sociological study then you may be prepared to believe that this “documentary” is a moving account of a stirring human journey. Anyone else though will be stunned by the epic fatuousness of the whole enterprise.
Freestyling is basically keepy uppy – doing clever tricks with footballs in the style of that kid in the MacDonald's adverts year ago. It looks impressive in itself but of no great use and the novelty of their repertoire soon pails.
The film's major problem is that the quest is not the least bit engaging or at all honourable. They're roughing it across a continent, surviving by a mixture of busking, blagging and straight out begging just to get an autograph. It's DIY Jim'll Fix It and it's also cringe-making, even a modicum obscene, to see these Westerners pass around the hat in very poor South American villages and just straight out embarrassing when they try it on the beach in Rio de Janeiro.
And you don't believe a word of it. You know that this whole thing is just a bogus gimmick to hook a film on. The de facto leader Woody is a failed footballer who seems like a composite of every London born footballer ever. He's a starry-eyed dreamer, Anthony Newley reincarnated in Frank Lampard. Poignantly, it's clear that of all of them, he's the one who had the ability to make it as a pro but not the character as he's a mess of nervous ticks whenever there's any confrontation.
Diego Maradona is of course arguably the greatest footballer of all time. He is also the stumpy, drug taking cheat who knocked England out of the World Cup with his Hand of God trick (which would've of course been a marvellous bit of cheeky gamesmanship if someone like Owen had had the nous to do it.) The sight of English lads desperately attempting to get halfway around the world in order to salute his courage, his strength and his indefatigability is frankly sickening.
This is an awful film but gloriously entertaining, one of the funniest around at the moment an I'm afraid we are laughing at them rather than with them. The humour is in the gap between reality and their perception of it as they try to talk up their achievements. The last half hour is consistently hilarious and by the closing ten minutes, people at the screening were literally falling around laughing.
Directed by Gabe Turner and Benjamin Turner.
Starring Paul Wood, Mickey Fisher, Sami Hall Bassam, Jeremy Lynch, Danny Robinson. 106 mins.
They go, see Diego; an account of the quest of five English football freestylers to busk across America to meet their hero Maradona. And on the basis that there is one born every minute, if you still believe that Big Brother is a serious sociological study then you may be prepared to believe that this “documentary” is a moving account of a stirring human journey. Anyone else though will be stunned by the epic fatuousness of the whole enterprise.
Freestyling is basically keepy uppy – doing clever tricks with footballs in the style of that kid in the MacDonald's adverts year ago. It looks impressive in itself but of no great use and the novelty of their repertoire soon pails.
The film's major problem is that the quest is not the least bit engaging or at all honourable. They're roughing it across a continent, surviving by a mixture of busking, blagging and straight out begging just to get an autograph. It's DIY Jim'll Fix It and it's also cringe-making, even a modicum obscene, to see these Westerners pass around the hat in very poor South American villages and just straight out embarrassing when they try it on the beach in Rio de Janeiro.
And you don't believe a word of it. You know that this whole thing is just a bogus gimmick to hook a film on. The de facto leader Woody is a failed footballer who seems like a composite of every London born footballer ever. He's a starry-eyed dreamer, Anthony Newley reincarnated in Frank Lampard. Poignantly, it's clear that of all of them, he's the one who had the ability to make it as a pro but not the character as he's a mess of nervous ticks whenever there's any confrontation.
Diego Maradona is of course arguably the greatest footballer of all time. He is also the stumpy, drug taking cheat who knocked England out of the World Cup with his Hand of God trick (which would've of course been a marvellous bit of cheeky gamesmanship if someone like Owen had had the nous to do it.) The sight of English lads desperately attempting to get halfway around the world in order to salute his courage, his strength and his indefatigability is frankly sickening.
This is an awful film but gloriously entertaining, one of the funniest around at the moment an I'm afraid we are laughing at them rather than with them. The humour is in the gap between reality and their perception of it as they try to talk up their achievements. The last half hour is consistently hilarious and by the closing ten minutes, people at the screening were literally falling around laughing.