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Love is StrangeRare Exports: A Christmas Tale (15.)

Directed by Jalmari Helander.

Starring Onni Tommila, Jorma Tommila, Per Christian Ellefsen, Tommi Korpela, Rauno Juvonen. 77 mins. Finnish with subtitles

I went into this with no foreknowledge except a single arresting image – that of a withered, white haired, elderly figure strung up by chains and meat hooks in a dingy room being discovered by a group of people who recognise him as Father Christmas. That short scene seemed to throw open the door on any number of possible films, anything from torture porn to kid’s film.

Now, 77 minutes later I still have no idea what the film is. It is too gruesome and menacing to be a children’s film – if the people getting pickaxes wedged into the top of their skulls doesn’t disqualify it, surely the copious geriatric male full frontal nudity does. Yet it is very clearly a children’s fable, one that none of them can enjoy.

Up in Lapland a group of badly dubbed Americans are drilling into the Korvatunturi Mountain, in search of the tomb of Santa Claus. Down in the valley young Pietari (Onni Tommila) has overheard their plans and has researched the nature of the true Santa and discovered that he is a demon more interested in punishing the naughty than bringing presents to the well behaved. His worst fears are confirmed when children start to disappear in Christmas Eve.

There’s a good idea in there somewhere and that earns the film your good will but what they have done with it makes no sense and isn’t entertaining. The premise isn’t developed consistently or logically. It summons up the mood of a classic isolated community horror like The Thing but it isn’t really concerned with tension or scares. It has humour but normally at the expense of any credibility.

There are some impressive visual images but equally there are some substandard ones. Its look is a kind of glossy grunge; like a version of the perennial million light bulb Coca-cola Christmas ad shot during a power cut. The film’s abiding mystery is wondering who on earth it was made for?

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